Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Warning: Long Rambling Post

Many of you will notice that there is not a blog count on the top of this post, nor was there one on my latest book review. That's right friends. No more counting. No more racking my brain to post something everyday when my life just isn't quite that interesting. This is all part of the Lauren Needs to Put Less Pressure on Herself movement. That being said, a good thing that the 365 Blog Challenge did do is jumpstart my blogging again, which is good enough for me!

I also have other news, this news in the job front. Many of you know that I will be switching as of June 6th to an Oncology/Geriatric unit on the day shift (THANK GOD). But I thought I'd share some reasoning behind it. When Scott and I returned from our cruise, I was so relaxed and in such a good place. Going back to work, particularly three-in-row on a very heavy unit (meaning our unit at this time had very sick patients) was a nightmare. I hated being there at night. I felt like a couple patients (re:leeches?) were sucking out my soul. I knew I needed a change.

I started thinking about where I saw myself in nursing in the future, what type of environment would make me happy. I knew early on that I couldn't be a bedside nurse my entire life, but I'm not ready to go back for my masters because I don't know that I want to be an NP or CNS either. I obviously have interests other than nursing that I'd like to pursue, that seem to balance me. At the same time, I haven't given up completely on getting something out of nursing and having it sustain me for many years.

Then something happened. Scott got an abnormal lab result back from the immunologist for which we were sent to a hematologist/oncologist for a follow-up. We feared that if this result was accurate, Scott may have a form of leukemia and that thought scared the hell out of me. Here we are, newly married, very happy together, and to have my life partner taken away so early would be my worst nightmare. We visited the cancer center affiliated with my hospital, the labs were repeated and it turned out the first lab was just a fluke due to an impending infection and Scott got a clean bill of health. We were so relieved, and I started thinking, maybe this all just happened to lead me into oncology. I remember visiting my dad's outpatient chemo center a few years back and thinking at the time it may be a little mundane, but now I think outpatient chemo is a goal for me. It is challenging, you're dealing with dangerous chemicals that could result in a variety of reactions and treating patients with a variety of cancer types. I also think that while I'm not thick skinned, I do have an inner strength that may be perfectly suited to deal with the realities of cancer and to help people cope with their disease.

I'm not kidding myself. There is a possibility that oncology won't be the right fit. That's part of the reason I am on the oncology overflow/geriatric unit. The nurse recruiter and I decided if it's too emotionally intense, at least I won't be stuck on a unit where that's all there is all day every day. So he sent me to meet with the nurse manager of this onc/geri unit, and turns out she was excited to meet me because we both went to Columbia for our nursing degrees.

Did I mention that after meeting with the nurse recruiter, I got pooped on by a bird? I am taking it as some sort of sign. A days position just happened to be available on the unit so my prayers were answered! Another great part? I'll be working with my friend Jill and another Columbia grad, Stefanie on my shift. Things are looking up. Just 15 night shifts left to go (including 5 in the next 6 days, shoot me). Here's to the home stretch!

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