Warning: Long Rambling Post
Many of you will notice that there is not a blog count on the top of this post, nor was there one on my latest book review. That's right friends. No more counting. No more racking my brain to post something everyday when my life just isn't quite that interesting. This is all part of the Lauren Needs to Put Less Pressure on Herself movement. That being said, a good thing that the 365 Blog Challenge did do is jumpstart my blogging again, which is good enough for me!
I also have other news, this news in the job front. Many of you know that I will be switching as of June 6th to an Oncology/Geriatric unit on the day shift (THANK GOD). But I thought I'd share some reasoning behind it. When Scott and I returned from our cruise, I was so relaxed and in such a good place. Going back to work, particularly three-in-row on a very heavy unit (meaning our unit at this time had very sick patients) was a nightmare. I hated being there at night. I felt like a couple patients (re:leeches?) were sucking out my soul. I knew I needed a change.
I started thinking about where I saw myself in nursing in the future, what type of environment would make me happy. I knew early on that I couldn't be a bedside nurse my entire life, but I'm not ready to go back for my masters because I don't know that I want to be an NP or CNS either. I obviously have interests other than nursing that I'd like to pursue, that seem to balance me. At the same time, I haven't given up completely on getting something out of nursing and having it sustain me for many years.
Then something happened. Scott got an abnormal lab result back from the immunologist for which we were sent to a hematologist/oncologist for a follow-up. We feared that if this result was accurate, Scott may have a form of leukemia and that thought scared the hell out of me. Here we are, newly married, very happy together, and to have my life partner taken away so early would be my worst nightmare. We visited the cancer center affiliated with my hospital, the labs were repeated and it turned out the first lab was just a fluke due to an impending infection and Scott got a clean bill of health. We were so relieved, and I started thinking, maybe this all just happened to lead me into oncology. I remember visiting my dad's outpatient chemo center a few years back and thinking at the time it may be a little mundane, but now I think outpatient chemo is a goal for me. It is challenging, you're dealing with dangerous chemicals that could result in a variety of reactions and treating patients with a variety of cancer types. I also think that while I'm not thick skinned, I do have an inner strength that may be perfectly suited to deal with the realities of cancer and to help people cope with their disease.
I'm not kidding myself. There is a possibility that oncology won't be the right fit. That's part of the reason I am on the oncology overflow/geriatric unit. The nurse recruiter and I decided if it's too emotionally intense, at least I won't be stuck on a unit where that's all there is all day every day. So he sent me to meet with the nurse manager of this onc/geri unit, and turns out she was excited to meet me because we both went to Columbia for our nursing degrees.
Did I mention that after meeting with the nurse recruiter, I got pooped on by a bird? I am taking it as some sort of sign. A days position just happened to be available on the unit so my prayers were answered! Another great part? I'll be working with my friend Jill and another Columbia grad, Stefanie on my shift. Things are looking up. Just 15 night shifts left to go (including 5 in the next 6 days, shoot me). Here's to the home stretch!
Showing posts with label nursing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nursing. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
#93 Leeches
365 Blog Challenge: Post #93
As previously mentioned, coming back from the cruise, work hit me like a sack of bricks. I must have built up my stress tolerance over the months, and being so relaxed from the cruise made me vulnerable to the stressful realities of nursing. Either that, or our floor has been especially annoying lately.
I don't like to complain about patients (though doing so usually makes me feel better). They are sick people, and they need our care. It's probably the overwhelming aspects of the job that make it harder to put up with people's "idiosyncrasies". I just find it very difficult to want to care for someone who acts more needy than they really are, which some people do while in the hospital. I understand it's scary and miserable to be sick, it's uncomfortable to be away from home. However, in addition to the medical and physiological things we nurses need to keep in mind, it's a constant psych game. Perhaps people regress a bit in the hospital, or maybe they feel neglected when their families aren't there very often. But sometimes I feel like certain (definitely not all) patients are emotional leeches. They drain everything out of you due to their psychological neediness.
Being a people-pleaser in these cases is difficult. And not all the nurses on my floor put up with it. But I am not one to get nasty with patients, and while I try to set limits, I sometimes get pulled under. Leeches make you appreciate the patients who are self-sufficient, or who, for medical reasons, actually do need your help as much as they insist.
So please, the next time you or a loved one is in the hospital, take the time to be kind to the nurse, especially if she is being patient and compassionate to your loved one (as he/she should be doing!) We need your appreciation just as much as you or your loved one needs our care.
As previously mentioned, coming back from the cruise, work hit me like a sack of bricks. I must have built up my stress tolerance over the months, and being so relaxed from the cruise made me vulnerable to the stressful realities of nursing. Either that, or our floor has been especially annoying lately.
I don't like to complain about patients (though doing so usually makes me feel better). They are sick people, and they need our care. It's probably the overwhelming aspects of the job that make it harder to put up with people's "idiosyncrasies". I just find it very difficult to want to care for someone who acts more needy than they really are, which some people do while in the hospital. I understand it's scary and miserable to be sick, it's uncomfortable to be away from home. However, in addition to the medical and physiological things we nurses need to keep in mind, it's a constant psych game. Perhaps people regress a bit in the hospital, or maybe they feel neglected when their families aren't there very often. But sometimes I feel like certain (definitely not all) patients are emotional leeches. They drain everything out of you due to their psychological neediness.
Being a people-pleaser in these cases is difficult. And not all the nurses on my floor put up with it. But I am not one to get nasty with patients, and while I try to set limits, I sometimes get pulled under. Leeches make you appreciate the patients who are self-sufficient, or who, for medical reasons, actually do need your help as much as they insist.
So please, the next time you or a loved one is in the hospital, take the time to be kind to the nurse, especially if she is being patient and compassionate to your loved one (as he/she should be doing!) We need your appreciation just as much as you or your loved one needs our care.
Monday, February 21, 2011
#48 On losing a patient...further reflection
365 Blog Challenge: Post #48
Alright guys, this post may be a downer, but I find it extremely important, especially to my fellow health care workers out there. As noted in post #18, I experienced my first patient death on my watch last month and it was a traumatic one. I found this article from Nurse.com to be pretty accurate for how nurses feel after traumatic deaths and the right ways to cope after such an incident.
I feel that grieving is not something they can teach you in school. I think until you have experienced a close relationship with a patient and lost him or her, you're not going to know just how bad it feels. It's not like the loss of a family member or friend, but it is still powerful. I remember standing in my patient's room during the code and feeling like I might wretch into the trash can at any moment. It was not a squeamish kind of nausea, but an emotional kind. I have since seen much more peaceful ways for patients to die and can only hope to experience more of those and fewer "crashes". Considering I eventually want to work in critical care, this might not be the case.
I think it's important, despite the fact that nursing can give you a thick skin, for nurses not to become hardened. I don't think they should carry grief around with them because they're too proud to let their emotions show in front of their peers. If anything, nurses should act as support for other nurses, which is sadly not always the case. If you are a new nurse, identify those others you can trust and who support you. If someone doesn't understand the way you're grieving,you don't need to include them in your process. Don't hold your grief inside. Find an outlet. And know that it takes time to let go of those difficult feelings. Things don't get better right away. But eventually, you'll be a better nurse because of your experience, because you let yourself be human even though sometimes you feel your job description doesn't allow you to be.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
#18 A sad night...
365 Blog Challenge: Post #18
I have worked as a nurse on a medical cardiology unit for 15 months. It is my first job as a nurse, and it has been amazing, painful, irritating, educating and rewarding all at the same time. In my 15 months, I have only seen 3 cardiac arrests. 1 of those 3 patients made it. 2 nights ago, it was one of my own patients who didn't survive. This was my first patient death, and it was a difficult one. The patient was a wonderful, but very sick man, who'd been under our care for weeks, and in fact, I had been his nurse at least a couple times a week since he'd been there. It was not a pretty death. It was not completely unexpected, but it was not peaceful or serene. The room was full of medical professionals doing their jobs, orderly chaos, and last ditch efforts. Everyone, even before the code, was trying so hard to keep this man alive, but it was just not meant to be.
I don't think I'll cry after every patient death. Some patients I won't know so well. Some patients are so debilitated that I think they are ready for their discomfort and pain to end. This patient was a hard patient to lose, and I did cry. I was wiping tears from my face during the code. I burst into tears in front of the intensivist when the case was called (she was very gracious). And I was comforted in our break room by some very sweet and kind staff members. I have to thank many of my coworkers for being so supportive and wonderful. I couldn't have gotten through the night without them.
I don't think I will ever forget this first death, and I don't think I should. Life is fragile, and too often, it is cut short. Hug the ones you love. Don't take any breath for granted. Live your life as you want to live it, not as others tell you to live it. Life is a mysterious thing. I'm glad that my patient had a good one, but I'm sad it had to end this soon.
I have worked as a nurse on a medical cardiology unit for 15 months. It is my first job as a nurse, and it has been amazing, painful, irritating, educating and rewarding all at the same time. In my 15 months, I have only seen 3 cardiac arrests. 1 of those 3 patients made it. 2 nights ago, it was one of my own patients who didn't survive. This was my first patient death, and it was a difficult one. The patient was a wonderful, but very sick man, who'd been under our care for weeks, and in fact, I had been his nurse at least a couple times a week since he'd been there. It was not a pretty death. It was not completely unexpected, but it was not peaceful or serene. The room was full of medical professionals doing their jobs, orderly chaos, and last ditch efforts. Everyone, even before the code, was trying so hard to keep this man alive, but it was just not meant to be.
I don't think I'll cry after every patient death. Some patients I won't know so well. Some patients are so debilitated that I think they are ready for their discomfort and pain to end. This patient was a hard patient to lose, and I did cry. I was wiping tears from my face during the code. I burst into tears in front of the intensivist when the case was called (she was very gracious). And I was comforted in our break room by some very sweet and kind staff members. I have to thank many of my coworkers for being so supportive and wonderful. I couldn't have gotten through the night without them.
I don't think I will ever forget this first death, and I don't think I should. Life is fragile, and too often, it is cut short. Hug the ones you love. Don't take any breath for granted. Live your life as you want to live it, not as others tell you to live it. Life is a mysterious thing. I'm glad that my patient had a good one, but I'm sad it had to end this soon.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Good advice...
Maybe I should try out of these tips: 7 ways to stay positive during a long job search. Going on 2 1/2 months. Even for a nursing job! Trying to maintain my PMA (positive mental attitude). Hope these tips help others in needs.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The trouble I'm finding....
Even though I am applying for hospital nursing positions, I have gotten nothing but rejections for 2 weeks, or no response at all. I am willing to work any shift, any med/surg floor, including weekends. And I still am having trouble! I found this article that gives a little insight....ARTICLE.
Luckily, I have an old job to fall back on for the time being. At least for a few hours a week.
Luckily, I have an old job to fall back on for the time being. At least for a few hours a week.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
New York Happenings August/September Edition
Hello all!
I guess I'm going to have to settle with only writing these emails every 2 months while I'm in school because it's too tough to find the time to do it every month. And considering all I really have to talkabout is nursing school, I may bore you all if I write more often! School is still going well. Perhaps slightly less stressful and busy than last semester, but that for some reason makes it harder for me to motivate myself. I have a new clinical group so I have been making even more great friends and will post some pics up on my blog as soon as I get some. There are some very wonderful people in my program (and some pretty annoying ones, but that's besides the point.).
My current clinical is adult Med/Surg at Cornell's hospital (part ofthe New York Presbyterian system, #6 in the country) on 68th and York.This hospital is FABULOUS. The unit I'm on is a breath of fresh air (haha..and it's a pulmonary step-down unit) after the somewhat dreary one I was on this summer at Milstein Hospital (at Columbia's campus, also part of the NYP system.) The nurses are so receptive and just show you everything they're doing, and even let you try new things. They're a younger bunch of nurses compared to those from my summer unit, and perhaps that's why they're primed to teach us. Even though I don't particularly want to work on a med/surg unit, I find myself getting REALLY excited to be done with school and be a nurse for a bit! (I still plan to take a 1 year leave of absence after mybachelors program to gain experience.) It looks like so much fun. My clinical instructors are also great for many reasons, but especiallybecause they let us follow nurses in other areas of the hospital. This Wednesday I was in the ER and I LOVED IT! The fast pace just gave me a rush, and Cornell is even a Trauma 1 hospital (which means they get the worst of the worst traumas...completely thrilling if you're an adrenaline junkie like me.) We also got to go visit theNeuroSurg ICU this week, and that was another great experience. Those nurses have to be the most competent nurses, just REALLY on top of their game. I found out that a few of the ICUs at Cornell do hire new grads, which was quite a refreshing discovery! I can't wait to get out there.
A short disclaimer for the nursing profession: although some people may still have the idea of the nurse in all white with the little cap on her head who just follows doctors orders, I'm here to tell you that is not what nursing is about anymore, and hasn't been for a loooonnnnggg time. (Think back to Florence Nightengale days...damn Flo gave some of us a bad name.) The nurses I have met, especially who work on the hospital floors, are smart, competent, caring, strong women and men who are doing one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs in the world. I believe I have found the right profession to utilize my strength (physical and mental), brain and sensitive nature to help people who are ailing. Don't ever undermine a nurse just because he/she is not a doctor. Because quite frankly, he/she does allll the work, and has to use lots of brain power to do so. Stepping off the soap box now.
Scott is doing well. He is currently doing some administrative work for Steven Chaikelson, the head of the theater program at Columbia who also happens to be a producer. Scott worked for him 2 summers ago, andthey took him on this time for about a month and a half which is very helpful. The consistent work is great. Scott has still be auditioning a bit, but nothing has come of it yet. He is also taking voice over classes (you know...the announcers you hear in TV commercials?), and he is really enjoying it. His teachers seem to think he could have a future in the industry, which is apparently even MORE difficult to get into than acting. But he's excited to put himself out there and see what happens.
Not much else going on out here. Can't attend to many wedding plans currently as I've got some more pressing issues to keep up with (i.e.grades.) I did enjoy seeing family at my Grandparent's 60th weddinganniversary party on August and am putting the link to some pics up here: http://newyorkhappenings.blogspot.com/2008/09/reason-to-celebrate.html
We're headed out to a play tonight starring Dylan McDermott and MauraTierney which sadly got bad reviews, but can't let those tickets go to waste! We're also looking forward to Scott's golden birthday next weekend (he'll be 27), and a visit from Erin and Steve in November. Until then, I must hit the books and read some more about anemia and other hematological issues. Good times. Much love to all! Hope the economic situation hasn't hit any of you too hard! (And if it has, go into nursing. Pure job security.)
Love yas,
Lauren
I guess I'm going to have to settle with only writing these emails every 2 months while I'm in school because it's too tough to find the time to do it every month. And considering all I really have to talkabout is nursing school, I may bore you all if I write more often! School is still going well. Perhaps slightly less stressful and busy than last semester, but that for some reason makes it harder for me to motivate myself. I have a new clinical group so I have been making even more great friends and will post some pics up on my blog as soon as I get some. There are some very wonderful people in my program (and some pretty annoying ones, but that's besides the point.).
My current clinical is adult Med/Surg at Cornell's hospital (part ofthe New York Presbyterian system, #6 in the country) on 68th and York.This hospital is FABULOUS. The unit I'm on is a breath of fresh air (haha..and it's a pulmonary step-down unit) after the somewhat dreary one I was on this summer at Milstein Hospital (at Columbia's campus, also part of the NYP system.) The nurses are so receptive and just show you everything they're doing, and even let you try new things. They're a younger bunch of nurses compared to those from my summer unit, and perhaps that's why they're primed to teach us. Even though I don't particularly want to work on a med/surg unit, I find myself getting REALLY excited to be done with school and be a nurse for a bit! (I still plan to take a 1 year leave of absence after mybachelors program to gain experience.) It looks like so much fun. My clinical instructors are also great for many reasons, but especiallybecause they let us follow nurses in other areas of the hospital. This Wednesday I was in the ER and I LOVED IT! The fast pace just gave me a rush, and Cornell is even a Trauma 1 hospital (which means they get the worst of the worst traumas...completely thrilling if you're an adrenaline junkie like me.) We also got to go visit theNeuroSurg ICU this week, and that was another great experience. Those nurses have to be the most competent nurses, just REALLY on top of their game. I found out that a few of the ICUs at Cornell do hire new grads, which was quite a refreshing discovery! I can't wait to get out there.
A short disclaimer for the nursing profession: although some people may still have the idea of the nurse in all white with the little cap on her head who just follows doctors orders, I'm here to tell you that is not what nursing is about anymore, and hasn't been for a loooonnnnggg time. (Think back to Florence Nightengale days...damn Flo gave some of us a bad name.) The nurses I have met, especially who work on the hospital floors, are smart, competent, caring, strong women and men who are doing one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs in the world. I believe I have found the right profession to utilize my strength (physical and mental), brain and sensitive nature to help people who are ailing. Don't ever undermine a nurse just because he/she is not a doctor. Because quite frankly, he/she does allll the work, and has to use lots of brain power to do so. Stepping off the soap box now.
Scott is doing well. He is currently doing some administrative work for Steven Chaikelson, the head of the theater program at Columbia who also happens to be a producer. Scott worked for him 2 summers ago, andthey took him on this time for about a month and a half which is very helpful. The consistent work is great. Scott has still be auditioning a bit, but nothing has come of it yet. He is also taking voice over classes (you know...the announcers you hear in TV commercials?), and he is really enjoying it. His teachers seem to think he could have a future in the industry, which is apparently even MORE difficult to get into than acting. But he's excited to put himself out there and see what happens.
Not much else going on out here. Can't attend to many wedding plans currently as I've got some more pressing issues to keep up with (i.e.grades.) I did enjoy seeing family at my Grandparent's 60th weddinganniversary party on August and am putting the link to some pics up here: http://newyorkhappenings.blogspot.com/2008/09/reason-to-celebrate.html
We're headed out to a play tonight starring Dylan McDermott and MauraTierney which sadly got bad reviews, but can't let those tickets go to waste! We're also looking forward to Scott's golden birthday next weekend (he'll be 27), and a visit from Erin and Steve in November. Until then, I must hit the books and read some more about anemia and other hematological issues. Good times. Much love to all! Hope the economic situation hasn't hit any of you too hard! (And if it has, go into nursing. Pure job security.)
Love yas,
Lauren
Thursday, August 28, 2008
You're gonna be a what?
Some people have asked me as I describe my future goals and schooling, "What's a nurse practitioner?" Well, this article is a great explanation, and it also differentiates nurse practitioners and physicians assistants. (I.e. Nurse practitioners are more independent while physicians assistants have more flexibility in relocating...though I would say NPs have lots of options as well). And while I can't speak from a physician's assistant's point of view, I can say that compared to MD training, the nursing approach is more hoslitic, incorporating all aspects of the patient's life (cultural, psychological, religious, etc...at least in GOOD nursing practice) as well as addressing the biomedical issue at hand. Perhaps that is not the approach for everyone. But I'd say it is the right approach for me!
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